ADD Student

Archive for March, 2008

Starting this week, I will be adding an audio feature to this site: Tuesday’s Ten Minute Tip.  Every Tuesday will feature a short audio recording of a tip that I find useful in managing Attention Deficit Disorder symptoms.  Both ADD Student and ADD Moms will feature Tuesday’s Ten Minute Tips; sometimes it will be the same one, and sometimes each site will have a different one.  Check the box on the right under “What’s New” to hear the latest tip.

Years ago, when my youngest daughter was a toddler, she would play hide and seek with her dad when he came home from work.  When he would pull into the driveway, I would say “Daddy’s home!  Quick, hide so he can’t find you!”.

Her response was always to stay exactly where she was and cover her eyes with her hands.  Like most toddlers, she thought if she couldn’t see her dad, then he couldn’t see her, either.

I see a lot of parents, mostly dads, playing a similar game with their child’s Attention Deficit Disorder.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been contacted by a mom who tells me that the school thinks her child has AD/HD.  The questions she has are always the same:

•  How do I find out if it is AD/HD?
• What should I do?
• Do I have to put them on ADD medication?  My husband is already mad that the school thinks our child has AD/HD; there’s no way he’ll let me put him on medication.

Now I understand that the whole subject of AD/HD medication is one that causes a lot of controversy.  I know that it’s a scary proposition; I went through the same thing myself with my son years ago.

The decision to put or not put your child on AD/HD medication is one that you as parents must make; it is your right to do so.  However, you have a responsibility as parents to make that decision from an informed perspective.

Don’t tell me that you don’t want to get your child tested because you might find out that they have Attention Deficit Disorder, or that you won’t consider medication because your husband won’t allow it.  That kind of attitude makes my blood boil, because what this is really about is daddy’s ego, not the child’s best interests.

Pull your head up out of the sand, quit hiding your eyes behind your hands, and see the truth for whatever it is.  Nobody wants their child to have Attention Deficit Disorder, and most parents would rather not have to give their children medication to help them manage it.  But we face what is head on, because until we do that, we can’t possibly help our children live the lives they were meant to live. 

Years ago, I used to teach an adult education class for Chrysler.  I had a psychology professor who contracted with Chrysler to offer the class, and she hired me (and others) to actually teach it.  I’m sure that I learned at least as much as the students we taught.

I remember one young man in particular.  The class he was in was somewhat small, and we held it in the lunchroom, since there was no other place for us.  This young man sat away from the others, kind of slumped down in his chair, with his arms folded across his chest.  He didn’t say anything or contribute in any way to the conversation.  He gave off a very negative attitude, in my mind at least.

(By the way – this class was a voluntary class designed to help assembly line workers prepare for a skilled trades exam.  If they passed and got into the program, it meant better jobs and more money for them.  This wasn’t the kind of situation you might find in a high school, for instance, when kids have a negative attitude because they’re bored or don’t want to be there.) 

Now, the professor happened to be visiting us that day, and she noticed the young man, too.  She joined our group and started a conversation about the different ways in which we learn.  After talking with the others for a few minutes, she addressed the young man in the back.

“You’re the kind of learner who needs to take it all in and absorb it.  You sit there as though you’re distancing yourself from this group, but in reality, you’re observing.  You watch everyone and listen to what they say.  Your brain needs time to absorb this new information and process it.  Later today or tomorrow, you’ll be ready and able to join this discussion and add to it.”

To my surprise, the young man uncrossed his arms and leaned forward in his chair.  He nodded over and over again to everything she said.  It was as though someone finally understood him.

I learned a valuable lesson that day.  Well, I guess more than one.  Obviously, I learned not to judge people so quickly or to make assumptions about them that I didn’t know to be true.

But the other thing that I learned was about how many different ways there are to learn.  Sure, I had studied learning styles in school, and I knew what kind of learning style I had (mostly visual, but some kinesthetic, too).  This young man, however, made me realize that there is more to learning style than simply being categorized as visual, auditory, or kinesthetic.

There are many different ways to talk about learning styles.  I most always talk about the sensory ones (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) because they are easy for most people to understand.  There are, however, other ways to think about learning.

The style of the young man I mentioned is most easily explained in David Kolb’s classification of Abstract/Reflective learners.

Knowing your child’s learning style is so very important.  I can’t stress this enough.  Everyone learns in such different ways.  

If you have a child who has Attention Deficit Disorder, they are already fighting an uphill battle in school.  Doesn’t it make sense for you to understand things like learning style so that you can do a better job of helping your child learn? You can’t always rely on the teachers and the school to do it for you.  

I was taught by that same professor that teachers should teach in a manner that addresses all learning styles, so that each student has an opportunity to understand.  This particular professor was very good at doing just that, but not all teachers are.

If you want to find out more about learning styles, you can do a search.  There’s a lot more available than I can possibly present here.  As always, if you have questions, let me know.