ADD Student

Archive for June, 2008

Tuesday’s Ten Minute Tips are on hold temporarily due to audio difficulties.

You know, for as many years as I’ve been studying Attention Deficit Disorder (over 20), it seems that there are still new things to learn. I recently had one of those “aha” moments, and I thought I would pass it on to you.

One of the things that I’m always telling you is to educate yourself about ADD. If you are the person with ADD, it’s important to understand yourself better. And if you are the parent of an ADD child, it’s vital that you understand them – how they think and learn, and how they experience the world.

It never occurred to me until just recently that what I was saying wasn’t enough – that I had left out some very important people.

None of us live solitary lives. We have family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and other people in our little world. Many of the people in our lives may be touched or affected by our ADD. It happens because it’s a part of who we are, something that we can no more change than our fingerprints.

These people, most especially immediate family members, need to be included in the process of learning about Attention Deficit Disorder and how it affects us personally.

If you have a child with ADD who needs extra time or help with homework, it’s important that your other children really understand why. “Your brother has ADD” isn’t nearly enough of an explanation. Just as I tell you, as a parent, to really try to see how your child experiences the world, you need to convey that same message to your other children, your spouse, and anyone else closely involved in your child’s life.

If you’re an adult with ADD, then you are in an even better position to educate those around you as to how your brain works.

Remember as you (like me) continue to learn more about Attention Deficit Disorder and how it affects your life, to share that knowledge with those closest to you. The more we share and understand, the better off all of us will be.

The audio monsters have won tonight. This Tuesday’s Ten Minute Tip – minus sound.

Lately, I’ve been watching “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”, and I have to say, I am very impressed with Kate’s time management and organizing skills. For those of you who don’t know, Jon and Kate are the parents of eight children: 2 eight year old twins and 6 three year olds. And yes, this is real life, not a sitcom.

On a recent show, Kate was saying that one of the most important keys to managing that many children is having a schedule and sticking to it. That way, the kids always know what to expect.

All kids do better when there is some sort of structure in their lives, no matter what their age. Kids with Attention Deficit Disorder especially benefit from a structured routine, because they have so much difficulty forming that structure themselves.

This is often a big part of why kids who go away to college end up failing that first year; all of the structure that they’re used to has been taken away and they’ve been left to fend for themselves. Not all of them are ready for it.

Summetime represents another fairly free time in kids lives, when the structure of the school year and it’s various activities has been temporarily suspended. You may find at this time of year that your child is more difficult to get along with, may be getting into more trouble, or is just generally out of sorts.

If that’s the case, try adding some structure to their days and see what happens, after the intial complaint period is over. Setting regular times for meals is a good place to start, if you don’t do that already. A regular bedtime should be enforced in the summertime, too, although you might extend it.

Set aside a time of day when they do chores – maybe first thing in the morning after breakfast. And I think that a special time each day to just sit and read a book would be wonderful. Maybe later, in the evening.

Of course, some of these routines will be easier to put in place with younger children, but some of it’s possible even with teenagers. Everybody will certainly benefit.

Do you remember that Sesame Street game – One of These Things is Not Like the Other? There are a lot of people who would look at the three words in my title and conclude that ADHD doesn’t fit with grades and intelligence.

I don’t have to tell you that, do I? You and your child probably experience that attitude more than you’d like.

The fact is that ADHD and intelligence do go together, more often than not. I personally have had the privilege of coaching 2 kids with genius IQ’s, both of whom were barely passing high school.

What about grades and intelligence? That’s a little bit trickier. There are intelligent people who make good grades in school, absolutely.

There are also people who are easy to get along with, who are good at memorizing facts, and who rarely get asked to apply what they’ve learned who make good grades. Are they intelligent, or just good at what they do?

Then you’ve got people with Attention Deficit Disorder, who are often highly intelligent, and yet may have grades that are a poor reflection of their abilities or potential.

For those people, their intelligence almost works against them. They find school dull or boring, because it does little to challenge them. Efforts to get them into more challenging classes are often thwarted by the fact that their grades in the current classes are so poor.

I’ve even met several people who dropped out of high school because they couldn’t take the boredom anymore.

What’s the solution? Well there isn’t a nice tidy one size fits all that will work, and unfortunately a lot depends on other people.

Here are some things to try:

Ask the teacher for extra work, or more challenging work.

See if the teacher will allow some sort of supplemental work for extra credit. Kids with ADD can usually use it, and if they can have a hand in deciding what that might be, so much the better.

Look for things outside the classroom to add to what’s being learned there. Museums, movies, books, etc.

If the child is old enough, check into earning college credit while they’re in high school. There are ways it can be done, without the school’s need to get involved.

Make sure your child knows that you understand the frustration they feel, and help them deal with that while emphasizing that they need to stay in school. Getting a GED is an option, but is considered to be the last resort. There is usually a significant waiting period between the time one drops out of high school and when they are allowed to take the GED.

Finally, always recognize your child’s intelligence when genuine moments to do so arise. It helps them remember the person they really are.