No, it’s not the latest “cure” for ADD.
Have you ever heard the saying “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”? That’s the point.
So what does that have to do with Attention Deficit Disorder?
A lot, actually. I know how hard it can be to raise a child with ADHD; I’ve raised three. And I know that other people can be mean and hurtful at times, especially for anyone who’s “different”. I am also well aware of that mother-lion-defending-her-cubs instinct that such behavior sometimes arouses. (Just mention my son’s would-be high school hockey coach and you’ll see. And by the way, my son’s almost 24. No, I don’t hold grudges.)
Anyway, try to learn from me rather than repeat my sometimes bad behavior.
Here’s the deal:
- Kids with ADHD sometimes have trouble in school
- Kids with ADHD sometimes have poor social skills and therefore fewer friends
- Kids with ADHD (and their parents) might be more acquainted than most with the administrative staff at school
- kids with ADHD sometimes don’t pay attention in class and could use a friend they could call for homework assignments, notes, etc
Are we agreed on these points? I’ll take that as a yes.
Now, then, wouldn’t you agree that in light of these observations it might be more beneficial to spread some honey about the place rather than vinegar?
I know that you get frustrated and angry when people judge your child unfairly, and how wrong it is when they start the school year with a new teacher who’s already been given the “heads up” on your kid.
But, in the long run, it seems that it would do your child more good if people liked you, their parent. Instead of being the one who’s always showing up with the latest complaint (no matter how justified), try to be the one who shows up willing to help. To say thanks for what you’re doing, and how you’re helping.
While it’s true that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, after too much squeaking, the wheel gets ignored. I’m not saying that you should let people get away with just anything, but to pick your battles.
And try showing up with a plate of brownies before the battles begin.
