ADD Student

The other day I mentioned the possibility of offering a coaching program for parents – teaching you to coach your own child towards better grades and better behavior.

Here are a few suggestions:

Target 2 or 3 behaviors that you would like to work on with your child. I always suggest trying to find one that has a somewhat easy or quick solution in addition to one or two that are more challenging. You want them to feel some success early on while they are working on the others.

Come up with some ideas on your own then ask your child to sit down with you to brainstorm more. Letting them be a part of the process gives them a real sense of involvement. You become partners rather than you as an authority figure handing down the rules.

Have your child write down the behaviors that you decide on, along with appropriate action. For instance, if getting out the door in the morning is a problem, you might decide to have them get as much as possible ready the night before.

Make sure that when they write it, they are actually writing it, not typing on the computer, unless they have difficulty writing. The involvement required in writing this out helps get it into their brain more effectively and gives them a visual reference. Have them post in somewhere that they are likely to see it on a regular basis.

In addition, you might want to use this as a basis for a contract between the two of you, including rewards and consequences.

The collaboration here, as well as clearcut rewards and consequences, allows the two of you to work together towards change without the friction that often arises between parent and child.