Risky Business
| February 16, 2010 | Posted by Brenda under ADD |
ADHD + Teens = Risky Business
The teen years are difficult for everybody – kids with ADHD, kids without ADHD, parents, teachers – everybody.
Growing intro the person you are and dealing with raging hormones can be hard on anyone. But when you add ADHD to the mix, things can get very risky.
People with ADHD often have poor impulse control; they act before they think. ADDers are also risk takers – doing almost anything to get that adrenaline rush. Don’t forget that until they are in their 20′s, ADHD kids are 3-5 years behind their actual age emotionally.
Now consider the things that most teens are exposed to these days: drug use, alcohol use, sex, peer pressure, maybe even gangs or other violence. The simple act of learning to drive – a teen right of passage – becomes way riskier when you have ADHD.
And don’t forget that people who have untreated or inadequately treated ADHD have a need to self medicate. Even kids on ADHD medication have the potential to misuse those drugs.
What can you do as the parent of an ADHD teen? Here are some ideas:
Keep communication lines open. Keep the relationship between you and your teen positive and open. A loving family relationship can often help teens stay on the right path.
Educate your teen. Let them know that as a teen who has ADHD, they are more susceptible to risky business. Forewarned is forearmed.
Make sure the medication (if they take it) is still working. Hormones and growth spurts can affect ADHD symptoms, and they affect boys differently than girls. An adjustment may be necessary.
Make sure they are taking their medication appropriately. Teens often object to taking medication for ADHD for a variety of reasons. They may feel that they don’t need it, dislike the stigma attached to it, or not like the way it makes them feel. Make sure they actually are taking it and not by passing it or abusing it.
Give them alternatives. If you haven’t already, teach them other ways to manage ADHD symptoms, such as meditation or exercise.
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Pardon me, but I am not 3-5 years less emotionally mature than my peers because I have ADHD. I am 18, but I feel that if anything I (and friends with ADHD) have developed greater emotional complexity than many my age, and for the most part ahead of schedule, because of the enormous impact on relationships and life is general–it is/has been necessary to survive. On the other hand, it is pretty foolish for doctors or anyone (myself included) to assume that emotional intelligence can be characterized or quantified in such a one-dimensional manner. Please consider the range of individuals who have ADHD before making such claims: some may be 5 years behind, some may be 5 years ahead, many may be about average, if adolescents have any kinds of “average.” Likewise, understand that your article is somewhat reactionary: it addresses cereal-box, stereotypical teenage parenting concerns through the “oh god let’s panic” lens of ADHD. Of course ADHD makes growing up riskier; the concerns are legitimate. The way in which you have presented them, unfortunately, is not. (I did not write this post to get an adrenaline rush.)
In other words, please don’t write off ADHD teens as mindless, compulsive time bombs. It’s degrading.
Thank you for your comments.
My observations are based on a number of things: I am an ADHD adult, and have raised 3 children with ADHD. I have trained and worked as an ADD Coach for over 10 years, I have studied ADHD for over 25 years, and I have worked previously in learning assistance at a community college.
Naturally, there are always going to be exceptions to every generalization, and perhaps you are one of them.
The idea that kids with ADHD are emotionally behind by a number of years is not mine; it is fact. And like a lot of things concerning ADHD, it can vary from day to day, hour to hour. The kid who can make very mature and rational decisions one day may not make such wise decisions the next. It’s part of growing up and maturing. I would guess that all kids experience this sort of thing as they get older; it is just more marked in those with ADHD.
I’m sorry if what I wrote offended you; that was not my intention although I see nothing wrong with what I said.
I appreciate you leaving your comments.
thanks for the great post