ADD Student

Archive for the ‘Organization’ Category

One of my newest online friends is Kayla who has ADHD kids too and her own website called Go Ask Mom.

I was reading Kayla’s site tonight and she mentioned something that I think is very powerful, especially for parents of ADHD children.

You know, there are a lot of people with ADHD who have problems letting go of their stuff. I think it falls under the “I’m afraid if I get rid of it I’ll need it” rule.

I remember when my daughters were younger and shared a room. Of the two girls, Caitlin was by far the messiest. When it was time to clean the room, she would cause Sarah all kinds of grief. Anytime Sarah picked up something to throw away, Caitlin would protest. She might want that someday, or need it sometime. Sarah finally asked to be able to clean the room herself as long as I would keep Caitlin away.

Today on Go Ask Mom, I was reading one of Kayla’s hints she calls “Share the Joy”. Here’s what she says:

Share the Joy~Help your child break the hoarding habit before it starts! Set up a place somewhere in your house for “give away stuff”. Tell your kids (and your spouse) to put things they will never wear into the bin instead of shoving them further back in the drawer. When the bin is full, give the clothes to charity or hand them down.

I think that’s an excellent idea, don’t you? Let’s break that clutter and hoarding habit early and teach them to be charitable at the same time.

Good call, Kayla!

Here it is the start of a new year, and I’m looking back. Not back to last year, but way back. Back to when my children were small – babies and toddlers.

Do you remember when your ADD child was little? A toddler, maybe, or even younger? What did you think about them then?

Of course, you loved them. Did you think they were smart? Maybe even smarter than some of your friends kids? Did they learn to walk, or talk, or do something earlier than their peers? (My son learned to ride a 2 wheeled bike when he was 3 years old.)

Were you proud of them then?

What about now? How do you feel about them now? You can be honest – you’re only talking to yourself.

The love is still there. But what about the pride? The feeling that they are smarter than other kids? Do you still think and feel those things?

And if you don’t (it’s OK) – what has changed? Them? Or you?

You might be surprised to find out that the biggest thing that has changed is your perceptions about them. They really haven’t changed that much, at least not fundamentally.

Sure, they give you more trouble now, and headaches. They might be less adorable and more frustrating.

But all the potential and intelligence and wonderfulness you saw back then is still there. The problem is that it’s being covered up.

It’s being covered up by labels, and people who don’t know better and some who do. It’s being covered up by bad feelings and frustration and knowing who you are but not being able to express it. It’s being covered up by one more failed attempt, one more forgotten thing, and one more mentally foggy day.

You can uncover it, if you try. If you do, and you succeed, it will be the greatest thing you’ve ever done. To try means to go against the grain, to swim against the current along with your ADD child.

To try means that you still see them as they are, for all that they can be.

This time of year always inspires me to become more organized.

If your ADD Student is currently out of school on holiday break, now would be a good time to help them start the New Year with a clean slate.

Clearing out and sorting through their backpack, room, and even their car can help get them back on track for the coming year.

Generally I advise people to do a little at a time in order to have the most success – maybe 15 minutes or so. Often, people with Attention Deficit Disorder are easily overwhelmed and likely to jump fully into a project they will find unable to complete.

However, if as a parent, you will be helping them, you may find it easier to do what needs to be done in slightly larger chunks of time. Sometimes kids with ADHD would just rather get it over with than drag it out. Since you are there to keep things under control, they can experience a greater sense of accomplishment this way.

Taking some time to help them put things back into order may not be their idea of a way to spend vacation, but if you can keep the time spent on it fairly reasonable, and offer a reward of some kind – maybe challenging them to Guitar Hero – the results will be worth it.

And in the end, doing things we don’t want to is a part of life and something they need to learn as well. Just remember the added difficulties of organizational projects when you have Attention Deficit Disorder and adjust accordingly.

It’s possible they might appreciate what you’ve done, although you may never know about it:)