ADD Student

Archive for the ‘School’ Category

Group projects are often used in school and the workplace because they have a lot of potential in terms of learning and accomplishment.

ADD Students, however, may not do so well in group project situations.

A group project’s dynamics include a social atmosphere; its members need to learn to communicate and work with one another effectively in order to get the job done. Also, group projects tend to be fairly large projects that require many small tasks to be completed and melded into the whole.

Kids with ADHD (adults too) often have poor social skills. They don’t pick up on subtle signals that others take for granted. They may interrupt, contribute to the conversation in seemingly irrelevant ways, or stop paying attention.

Unlike teachers, your child’s peers have no tools to help them understand and deal with ADHD. When an ADD child is put into a group project situation, it can often turn into a frustrating experience for everyone involved.

The groups members may not feel as though the ADD student is pulling his or her weight, become frustrated with forgetfulness and missed deadlines. Often the answer the group comes up with is to exclude the ADD student from the actual work.

In that case, no one really wins.

As a parent, there are some things that you can do to make group projects a positive learning experience for your ADD student.

Talk to the teacher at the beginning of the year, or as soon as the project is announced. Get as much information as you can about the project so that you will be better informed and more able to help your child with their part of the assignment.

Think about your child’s strengths. What are some of the things that they do well and enjoy doing? Can you utilize those skills in the group project?

For instance, maybe your child is fantastic at researching things online. Give them a subject and they will track down all kinds of resources online. Maybe that could be a big part of their contribution to the project.

Talk to your child, giving them an idea of what to expect in a group situation and how they are expected to behave. Knowing what to expect ahead of time helps those of us with ADHD know how to act.

Offer your home as a gathering place for the group to get together. This way you can observe group dynamics and step in to help work things out if needed.

Group projects, whether you like them or not, are an established way of doing business these days. Helping your child learn to navigate their way will serve them for the rest of their lives.

I currently have all 3 of my children attending college. Sarah is 26, Andy 25, and Caitlin is 22. And yes, they are all working on undergraduate degrees; no one is ready for grad school yet.

Yes, they are a bit older than a “traditional” student. At 22, Caitlin has friends who will be graduating from college this year.

But all 3 of my children have ADHD, and delaying college in one way or another was good for them.

Sarah and Andy started community college right out of high school. Andy quickly flunked out. Sarah continued, but changed her major several times and didn’t always do as well as she might have in her classes.

Caitlin waited a few years before she started and she went directly to a university (which is what all 3 attend now).

Why do you care about this?

Because you presumably have a child with ADHD, too, and someday you expect that child to go to college.

Here is what you need to know: kids with ADHD have 2 ages – their real one and their emotional one. Kids with ADHD are 3-5 years behind their actual age emotionally. They catch up sometime in their 20’s.

Would you send an eighth grader to live away from home for the first time and expect them to attend college level classes, take care of themselves and generally do well? Of course not. But when you send your 18 year old ADDer to college, in some ways, that’s exactly what you are doing.

The same is true of younger kids, too. An 11 or 12 year old going to middle school for the first time is really somewhere between 6 – 9 years old emotionally. Think about a first grader being exposed to all of the things that middle school kids have to deal with: drugs, smoking, drinking, sexual feelings, developing independence. Can you see how our ADHD kids have a harder time as they get older?

Unfortunately, I don’t have a magic solution for you to help you solve this problem. It’s more of a “something you need to be aware of and just deal with” kind of thing. It is important to remember it, especially when things go wrong.

The only advice that I have for you, other than just taking the emotional age into account and working with them on that, is that when it comes to college, “school age” becomes way more important.

Choose community colleges or commuter colleges over ones that require living away from home.

Look for colleges with strong learning resource centers that offer tutoring and other academic help and are knowledgeable about ADHD.

Consider giving them time to experience the real world before starting school. Working 40 hours a week at a retail job gave Caitlin a renewed appreciation for her school days.

Finally, help them figure out a direction before they begin. Lots of kids starting college are unsure of their major. Although they can always start with the core classes that each student needs to take, I find that kids with ADHD are more excited and involved (read committed) to school if they can see their future in sight.

When you think of school or doing homework, you think of sitting at a desk.

ADD Students don’t always do well sitting at a desk, especially for long periods of time. (Note: an ADDer’s definition of a “long period of time” may be quite different from yours.)

Unless you have an extremely understanding and flexible teacher (who has the ability to do so), there isn’t much you can do about having to sit at a desk in the classroom.

But once your ADD Student comes home from school and is ready to do homework, you can work outside the lines.

What does that mean?

For one thing, it means ditching the desk, at least part of the time.

So how do you get homework done without a desk?

Well it depends on what kind of homework you’re doing.

Any kind of homework that requires writing might mean a desk, but it might not need a chair. Or maybe it needs a desk and a chair, but not necessarily your child sitting there.

For instance, my son Andy had a lot of trouble writing papers when he was younger. (He does just fine now.)

So, Andy would pace the room and talk. I would sit at the computer and type exactly what he said. It’s not as hard as you think – even talking out loud requires time to think and gives you time to type. When he was done, we would print out the paper and then edit from there.

When he had to do math, Andy was on his own. He still needed a table to write on, but again, he preferred to pace the room and stop by the table to do a problem or two. Pacing helped him think better. It works that way for me, too, especially if I have a speech to make or a class to teach.

If homework involved memorizing something or repeating information over and over, we would sometimes print out main ideas in big letters and tape them to the basement wall. Andy had a spot down there where he would shoot pucks. There was a “net” painted on the wall and he would practice his slap shots there. Add in a few things he needs to learn and it’s almost painless!

Learn to work with your child’s nature and outside the lines when it comes to school and homework. It’s worth the effort.