Looking Back

Here it is the start of a new year, and I’m looking back. Not back to last year, but way back. Back to when my children were small - babies and toddlers.

Do you remember when your ADD child was little? A toddler, maybe, or even younger? What did you think about them then?

Of course, you loved them. Did you think they were smart? Maybe even smarter than some of your friends kids? Did they learn to walk, or talk, or do something earlier than their peers? (My son learned to ride a 2 wheeled bike when he was 3 years old.)

Were you proud of them then?

What about now? How do you feel about them now? You can be honest - you’re only talking to yourself.

The love is still there. But what about the pride? The feeling that they are smarter than other kids? Do you still think and feel those things?

And if you don’t (it’s OK) - what has changed? Them? Or you?

You might be surprised to find out that the biggest thing that has changed is your perceptions about them. They really haven’t changed that much, at least not fundamentally.

Sure, they give you more trouble now, and headaches. They might be less adorable and more frustrating.

But all the potential and intelligence and wonderfulness you saw back then is still there. The problem is that it’s being covered up.

It’s being covered up by labels, and people who don’t know better and some who do. It’s being covered up by bad feelings and frustration and knowing who you are but not being able to express it. It’s being covered up by one more failed attempt, one more forgotten thing, and one more mentally foggy day.

You can uncover it, if you try. If you do, and you succeed, it will be the greatest thing you’ve ever done. To try means to go against the grain, to swim against the current along with your ADD child.

To try means that you still see them as they are, for all that they can be.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

ADD Frustration

The other day, on ADD Moms, I wrote about the frustration that sometimes comes with the territory when you have ADD.

At the time, I had spent a few pleasant hours re-designing my site (like this one) only to have it all disappear due to a minor glitch. I spent four additional days working on restoring things - four days to replace a few hour’s work.

The problem was that I suddenly couldn’t remember how to do the things I had done a day or two before. I became more and more confused the more I worked with it, and increasingly frustrated.

This is a very common thing with ADHD, and not one that is often understood, especially by parents and teachers.

You think if you know something, you know it. But that’s not always the case.

A better way to understand it might be to think in terms of wiring and storage. ADD brains are “wired” differently than non ADD brains - they work differently.

Non ADD brains work in a linear fashion. Orderly and logical - sort of a Mr. Spock kind of brain. Non ADD brains take information and store it in a logical, reasonable way. They almost always find it easy to retrieve the information because they have stored it in a logicial, predictable place. They can have trouble, though, if someone asks them to think creatively - “outside the box”.

Creativity is part of the ADD brain, because ADD brains work in a non-linear fashion. That’s what makes us so great at seeing connections between things that others miss. Because we don’t work in an orderly, linear manner, and our brains work very fast, information can get stored in a different kind of way.

We store according to connections, ideas, associations, but sometimes that can make it very hard to find the information again. In addition, environmental factors like diet, sleep, and even what’s going on around us can make things more difficult because our symptoms are more evident.

There isn’t a lot you can do when you have ADD frustration. I find the best thing is to take a break if I can and do something else. Also, if I can see that outside influences are aggravating my symptoms, I change what I can and see if it helps.

I hope this has helped you understand a little more about how the ADD brain works, and also helped you understand your child and his frustrations at times.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Learning Over and Over Again

Learning never stops, no matter how old you get or what you already know.

I’ve recently been concentrating on learning internet marketing, something that I studied very intently when I first became a website owner. I’ve found out that covering the same material I covered 18 months ago still taught me new things and reinforced things I already knew.

It’s kind of like when you re-read a favorite book, or see a movie for the second or third time. You always notice new things and get greater insights.

Learning can always be that way, no matter who you are or what you’re learning.

Maybe this is a technique you can use with your ADD child for things that are especially hard to grasp. Let them study it once, and then re-visit it a day or two later to see if you can add to, or reinforce what has already been learned.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!