ADD Student

Posts Tagged ‘School’

I currently have all 3 of my children attending college. Sarah is 26, Andy 25, and Caitlin is 22. And yes, they are all working on undergraduate degrees; no one is ready for grad school yet.

Yes, they are a bit older than a “traditional” student. At 22, Caitlin has friends who will be graduating from college this year.

But all 3 of my children have ADHD, and delaying college in one way or another was good for them.

Sarah and Andy started community college right out of high school. Andy quickly flunked out. Sarah continued, but changed her major several times and didn’t always do as well as she might have in her classes.

Caitlin waited a few years before she started and she went directly to a university (which is what all 3 attend now).

Why do you care about this?

Because you presumably have a child with ADHD, too, and someday you expect that child to go to college.

Here is what you need to know: kids with ADHD have 2 ages – their real one and their emotional one. Kids with ADHD are 3-5 years behind their actual age emotionally. They catch up sometime in their 20’s.

Would you send an eighth grader to live away from home for the first time and expect them to attend college level classes, take care of themselves and generally do well? Of course not. But when you send your 18 year old ADDer to college, in some ways, that’s exactly what you are doing.

The same is true of younger kids, too. An 11 or 12 year old going to middle school for the first time is really somewhere between 6 – 9 years old emotionally. Think about a first grader being exposed to all of the things that middle school kids have to deal with: drugs, smoking, drinking, sexual feelings, developing independence. Can you see how our ADHD kids have a harder time as they get older?

Unfortunately, I don’t have a magic solution for you to help you solve this problem. It’s more of a “something you need to be aware of and just deal with” kind of thing. It is important to remember it, especially when things go wrong.

The only advice that I have for you, other than just taking the emotional age into account and working with them on that, is that when it comes to college, “school age” becomes way more important.

Choose community colleges or commuter colleges over ones that require living away from home.

Look for colleges with strong learning resource centers that offer tutoring and other academic help and are knowledgeable about ADHD.

Consider giving them time to experience the real world before starting school. Working 40 hours a week at a retail job gave Caitlin a renewed appreciation for her school days.

Finally, help them figure out a direction before they begin. Lots of kids starting college are unsure of their major. Although they can always start with the core classes that each student needs to take, I find that kids with ADHD are more excited and involved (read committed) to school if they can see their future in sight.

Does your child put up a huge fuss about going to school? Not the usual kind – most kids don’t want to go to school now and then. I’m talking about a real issue here.

I once had a friend whose son had ADHD. Shortly after he started high school, he began making excuses why he couldn’t go that day. It got to the point that he made himself physically ill. He and his mother spent months working with professionals to get him to a comfort level so that he could return to school. At the root of all the trouble was anxiety.

My youngest daughter Caitlin had a similar reaction to high school, although not as severe. Hers actually centered around an audition she had to do to get into the dramatic arts program. She was still in middle school at the time, but had to go to the high school to audition for the coming year.

She was terrified to walk past the kids lined up at the bus stop waiting to go home. Yes, the kid who had no fears about going onstage and performing was terrified to walk past some 9th graders. She managed to do it, though, because the audition meant that much to her.

Kids, especially those with ADHD, can get anxious around a new experience, like going from elementary school to middle school, or middle school to high school.

Kids with ADHD – more prone to anxiety – may certainly be more anxious than a child who does not have anxiety or ADHD and they are more likely to develop those anxieties at times when it seems as though everything is fine.

As parents, we can’t be there with our kids throughout the day. They have to navigate school by themselves, which is as it should be. But that means that we have no real idea of what goes on in their day other than what they (or the school) shares with us. An event that someone else wouldn’t think twice about can affect them more than we realize.

If your child suddenly starts protesting doing something that has always been a normal part of their life, you certainly need to take a closer look and to decide whether or not anxiety is a part.

Start small, by talking to them. Be gentle and compassionate and coax what you can from them. That may be all that’s needed. If that isn’t enough, you may want to go to the school and talk to the teachers, maybe even some of your child’s friends.

If the anxiety persists, however, you may want to involve a professional.

Above all, be sure to take swift action. Anxiety is miserable to live with and it can affect learning. Treat it seriously and as soon as possible.

For most college students, final exams are under way or on their way. Most high school and middle school students will likely face theirs next month.

For ADD Students, there is often added difficulty in taking an exam. ADD brains are not consistent from one day to the next, making something you knew yesterday just out of reach today. Test anxiety is often a consideration as well, causing the student to perform at less than their best.

Here are some ideas that may help:

Take breaks every 15 minutes or so when studying.

Stop studying one hour before bed.

Stay well hydrated while studying.

Unobtrusive music in the background may help with studying. Think classical, not hip hop.

Use visualization techniques to reduce anxiety. Picture getting the test, looking at the questions, and knowing all the answers. Picture passing with ease. The more detail and the more time you put into this, the more effective it will be.

Squirming or stretching while taking the exam can work off any excess energy or restlessness that is building up.

Pop a strong peppermint in your mouth just before the exam. It’s supposed to improve clarity.

Have some water before the exam and protein at breakfast and lunch.

Get a good night’s sleep the night before.

For multiple choice questions, never choose absolute answers like “never” and “always”.

For multiple choice questions, choose the most detailed answer.

Answer all of the questions you know before answering the others. This sets up a positive mindset. Be sure you are answering in the correct spot.

Go with your first reaction; it’s usually the right one.

Don’t change answers unless you are 110% sure. Sometimes another question will help you remember the answer on a previous one, but in general, you’re better off going with your first answer.

Include more information if you can. If you feel you know an answer but the question is confusing you, explain your reasoning on the answer sheet if possible. This only applies to essay and short answer exams; it is not appropriate for scan tron exams.

Relax, be confident, do your best.